my feeling about my journey in yan 2

This few days having my she qu activities.. lots of question appear in my head.. I really dunno wat is right and wat is wrong anymore.. but I know that lots of people around me really care and really sayang me de.. dunno why.. I feel really blessed de.. cause all this while.. no matter wat and where.. I will always have lots people around me.. help me and take care of me.. honestly I feel bless and honoured.. but I would hav some difficulty in my life as well of course., success in socializing.. but was a total failure in managing my love life I guess.. sigh.. but wat to do.. cause I do believe everything is balance and god treat everyone equally… some might b happy but poor.. some might b rich but unhappy.. some might b very beautiful but they are evil and end up frenless.. some might b very ugly.. but they are true and beautiful inside.. so.. that’s life I guess.. beautiful life.. no matter wat happen it will turn out to be fine.. rite?Now in shequ.. I really feel blessed.. cause I know all this while I am being pampered in shequ no matter among my own uni or even in the shequ 20th.. true enough that they sayang me too much to let me injured.. and well, today.. lian siang even say I hav pingat kelepasan where sometimes I feel wat he say is true de a.. people tend to treat me unfairly.. should say treat people unfairly as they would pampered me more.. one of the example is when we are doing activities we actually cant eat in the class.. but when I eat no one actually say no.. but when others do that they will ask them not too.. I was like.. feel very very guilty.. 2nd incident was when everyone should tuck in their shirt when they wear shequ t-shirt.. n mo zhuang will surely scold those tat didn do so.. sigh.. but again this time she didn say me.. that’s y lian siang would say that I hav pingat kelepasan.. so after hearing wat lian siang say.. I only will start think that actually all this while also like that de.. just I didn notice about it only.. =( wat a disaster.. I should control I guess.. should jian tao wat I should do… and should try make everyone treat me the same as them and I dun wan that pingat kelepasan liao.. guess I’ve been holding that pingat for a very very long time.. n it’s really time for me to grow up and let go.. =)