last time.. i thought couple that could survive long distance relation is incredible.. n i thought that once each other hav their partner in their heart is the most important thing n wif that relationship can survive.. bet i am really too naive to have such thinking..
wif my current relationship.. wif alvin where he actually working in penang permanently... thing n my opinion to this relation change dramatically.. last time.. i wouldn think that a relationship is very hard to maintain as long as we hav each other in our heart.. n last time i would think that i wan a relationship where the guy.. (my partner) can always b by my side.. let me 'teh'.. erm.. know how to 'hong' me and i will b the 'da siao jie' and he will 'chin chao' me.. then i would hav the thinking that my 1st relationship would b my last as well.. that's mean those that being my 1st bf would end up b my husband.. but now.. when i am in a relationship.. thing change and thinking change.. i guess those that i dream once upon a time would only happen if my partner like me a lot alot more than i like him.. so in order to make me love him he would do anything to get my attention.. but when i am in a relationship where i like him more than he like me.. thing turn out to b opposite.. i didn know that i can stand when a guy actually wasn that sensitive become my bf.. i was.. shock n suprise wif the magic and miracle of love.. no matter wat.. no matter how hard.. i choose to believe him.. because i believe that we would hav a happy ending.. and to maintain such +ve thinking.. we really hav to b very +ve.. haha.. chyeli is well know as being a girl that think a lot... a lot.. n when come to relation.. there's no escape that chyeli would think even more compare to others..
now being in a long distance relation.. it's actually not as easy as i think it would b.. it's like carrying a bomb beside me where it would explode anytime n i would left wif nothing.. but there's is nothing guarantteed in this world.. all we can do is believe and believe in miracle.. if i would hav agree the guy that go after me instead of choosing someone that i like.. thing would b very diff perhap.. but.. still the same phrase.. there's nothing guarantteed in this world.. but i never regret wif my decision.. being able to hav someone i like as my bf would b something meaningful and something that i won regret doing although no one would know if i will still b wif him in the future.. i onced tell myself that our life is so short.. instead of agreeing someone into a relation because he love me more than i like him.. why dun i gv myself a try n chance to get into a relationship wif someone i actually like n admire a long time ago..
although all this while people say tat we should choose someone that actually love us more than we actually love them as that way we would b the world happiest lady.. but wouldn they regret not going after the person she actually like?? for me.. i would.. so no matter wat will end up between me n alvin is not important.. as long as we hav each other now.. although he's been pretty bz.. where sometime i wasn strong n 'jian qiang' enough i would hav the thinking that i wanna let go.. this thinking had been keep reapppearing in my mind.. but till now i didn do it.. for i dun wanna regret in letting go this realtionship.. plus.. i choose to believe him.. shouldn i??
n another sensitive issue where i hav diff perspective wif him.. he insist that after a relation we can still b fren.. i bet this depend to indidvidual.. but for me.. most people that know me well enough would know that this is very diff to implied in my life.. but.. for alvin.. that's a perfect way in ending a relationship.. but i am nt so 'ku chap' also la.. depend on the situation how we actually ended our relation also rite?? takkan he 'curang' on me i also so 'dai fong' can b his fren back.. mayb some of u can do that.. but for me, 100% no way... i am not cruel.. i just dun wanna b cruel to myself..
wat would b the end between me n him?? no one know.. for being wif him for about 9 months and 4 days today... he change my thinking about relation.. totally.. good o bad news??? i really dunno.. but because of him.. i guess i learn how to protect myself from getting hurt n i learn to b more independent than in relying into him where i dun hav the chance to 'yi lai' him at all... guess there is always good n bad in everything.. am i rite??
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