my worse nightmare..

people who know me would know that i dun watch porn.. not at all.. and today.. i think i did something bad and i make god unhappy and angry about me which they wanna punish me.. realy in the morning when i woke up.. i couldn find my key.. i thought i lost it.. i crash the whole house trying to look for it.. and i thought i was home-alone.. no key mean i dun have to go class.. then, thiam san msg me and say i forget to pass up my theory assignment.. shit.. due date was last thurs.. and again.. die..
ok.. because of careless.. finally.. i manage to get my key.. so wif all my stuff i trying to run off to take bus.. guess wat.. i was at my door.. going out.. a car just stop outside of my house.. and then.. i went out and lock my gate.. and that stupid guy walk out.. WITHOUT a pant.. and he was rubbing his private part.. wat the heck.. i run la of course.. and he chase me.. and make me so scare man.. if u see this people u sure run.. i didn even think of screaming o wat.. i was just numb.. and he chase me.. all i was thinking is please dun touch me.. u r very dirty.. sigh.. i run until the big bus-stop outside where will hav more people and i cry there.. what a nightmare.. it will make me hate guy more.. when guy pass beside me.. it make me very 'geli'.. very very.. was chatting wif aunty christie just now.. she have bad experience when she is young too.. and her was bad to.. i just dun understand.. did all this guy need to see phyco?? just cant believe they doing this.. stupid man.. haih.. aunty christie.. i wan it delete completely from my brain.. angry.. and feel irritating wif the scene in my head..
please.. i will b very good.. dun punish me again.. this scene is in my mind all the time.. i just cant delete it.. and i dun like it.. hate it.. =( now it make me scare of going out alone and back alone.. it was the 1st time i go to school alone this sem.. and this happen.. wat should i do next mon?? man.. god.. help me.. =(