wat if i say i didn wanna idolize u anymore??

will my frens all be shock if i say i didn wanna idolize u anymore??
will u even care if i didn idolize u anymore??
would there even be any effect on u??
will it ever cross your mind why this girl nvr attend your activities anymore??
will i be able not to idolize u anymore??


all these question repeated non-stop in my brain today.. it wasn ur fault.. and i wanna show all my support toward u.. but, i am seriously tired.. for so many years i hav been supporting doing all sort of thing to be there for ur event no matter wat just to give u my support.. i would b satisfied just by having u look at me for just once.. then i would really be satisfied.. all this while the rule is like that... i just wan u to know i am there supporting u.. despite having u remembering o not remembering me.. 'wo bu si han'.. but finally today i realise i am seriously tired.. aftering u for so many year..


actually i understand wif the theory of unfairness de.. i seriously do understand.. but sometime heart cannot accept.. thought before u knowing all this ur heart already know that all this will happen.. but why when the thought become fact u seem to be so unhappy and so pethetic about it.. why?? i just dun get it.. why is human being feeling got to be so complicated??


i agreed wif wat jumo said de.. i suppose to do something that i am happy when i am doing so.. but why now i felt tired.. why did i hav all this thinking??


i hav kept words like this in my heart for a very long time.. and i am too tired wif those people that act fake in front of me..


lastly.. i hate people that act like she is somebody when she isn.. just because she is one of the committee that day.. just because she was given authorization to helped in the event.. it doesn mean that u hav the rite to actually treat others fans like ur subordinate.. i seriously not admire how the way u work.. this was seriously the 1st time there is actually someone that make me wanna scold foul language as normally this kind of words would nvr come out from my mouth.. be careful.. i can be seriously 'chan ren' to u when u treat me bad.. anyhow.. i am a women..

'most poisonous is girl's heart..'