i've been neglecting lots thing recently.. hav too many things in mind until i hav the thinking hoping everything would actually leave me alone.. wish i could start a life without having all the doubt and problems and all the thinking..
wat i hav been neglecting most is my study.. i need to do some coping up.. and i need to get some help.. i do wish there are some unselfish people that could help me get through this.. please.. i pray.. i didn hav enough time to use.. seriously packed..
i am sorrie i made u guys worry.. there are time that i would seriously need u guys to be there for me.. by then, please be there for me k??
this few days i hav been thinking a lot.. question like dying come into my concern.. will start thinking wat would happen if i die?? will people b sad?? ya..a while.. then after that will i be forgotten.. then will chyeli be disappear forever?? sad to think this way.. accompanying my grandma this few days.. seeing her so old.. realising she start getting old.. her movement.. things she eat.. her memories.. and everything.. i am so sad when i see the way she is.. i am sad people getting old and eventually will die.. i am sad i haven be able to hav anything to hav her going places she love.. despite being so old, she is nagged and need to work things out in her home and hav to worry bout her grandson..
there is time where i wish to get married earlier.. wanted her to see her grandchild is having great life.. and i know granny sayang me a lot..
oh god.. dunno wat i crap pulak.. thing getting complicated.. all i am doing is all this.. i hav been getting bz.. later.. i will get better..
btw, my mum's mum which is my 'wai po' getting better.. just now the granny is my da'd's mum.. she is about 85 years old le.. very old dy o??
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