pressure

when u start working then u will know where the pressure come from.. now i believe pressure is something not only u urself giving it to urself but it is resulted from the environment as well..
last time when i was in my uni life, i dun believe that my surrounding will be affected by me as i am not competiting with them.. so it is really up to them if they wanna compete with me and i won put this as a burden, a competition or identify it as a stress to me.. i only have stress for myself when my grad could not reach the aim that i wan and etc but not affected by external factors..
however, when i start working, i didn compare and compete.. it is totally diff thing.. mayb if u r in big four.. ya u do need to compete and u do need to grab ur chance well to excel and perform better than others so that ur boss can identify u.. recognise u in ur company.. but this doesn apply to my company as i dun hav people to compete with.. even if someone left, the chances others come in as a new staff is near to zero.. so if u do perform and u are capable definitely the company will wan u..
stress really do come from surrounding and myself of course.. i wanna perform well, though i am a new girl and people do giv me some allowance where there are certain areas that i can have my mistake but of course for a person like me, i try to minimize that.. people say i will get more use to the work after 3 months.. but i didn wanna wait till 3 months.. this is where the pressure come.. i wanna be better in shorter time they expecting me to be...
3ndly, peer pressure.. ya.. i did mention that we do not have to compete at all.. but all our work are related.. as if i didn close my acc properly, then the 2 accountants will be affected and they wont be able to close.. this is where my pressure come again.. instead doing the best with the work i currently have.. i have to worry i might delay people works.. suck man..
now i really know where the pressure come and i know i have bad attitude.. i tend to be very moody or angry when i couldn solve my thing.. (of course i didn show it to anyone.. but if u are moody or angry, u urself know that rite?)
hope thing will be ok soon.. and i can get use to the current situation.. go go chyeli...