....

Will I be able to just runaway from everything i have. Run away and start a new life not turning back to acknowledge what my pass will be? Will I be able to let go all the friendship that i have build? Will I be able to be ungrateful to my parent? Will be able to start a new life without naming myself Soon Chye Li? Will i be happier then? Will i forget how once i been in a middle of everything and it hurt?

Dun freak out. This is the question that appear in my head yesterday night after facing with some issue. No one is perfect but sometime when we have to deal with others issue, it tend to tired me out. When will it be the time i am living for myself instead of living for others? when will be the time that i am selfish enough to just care for myself and not others? What did i get with those endless caring i gave to my love one., my dearest one? hurt is the only thing i get in the end. As Suat Yee has said in her blog, we cant just accept happiness in our life, we must accept the sadness as well. But enough is enough. Dun let others be the burden of your problem and cant you just stop hurting people around you.  Stop being so cruel torturing me as i felt the torture and it push me to dead end. i didn know how to do now.. where are u guys pushing me to? Is this the way the both of you wanted to say you guys regret and didn wan me anymore?

I need strength. More strength and more forgiving to deal with this.. Just borrow me some anywhere, or just mute my senses? so i can be feelingless?