human.. me..

sometimes, we human being rather strange de.. when i really miss u that time u didn even hav time to call.. n when i am actually tired, exhausted.. wan a break from everything.. my phone rang.. that time.. will i find u irritating?? haha.. that's human.. full of emotion and feeling and weird and hard to understand.. sometimes i dun even understand myself.. how i am expect people to understand me?? am i really that hard to b understand?? frens that could really talk to u.. that could really share ur secret seem pretty far from u.. n i really miss them.. whenever i need them there are just not around and ya.. wat's the use of having lots frens when there aren one that u could actually talk to.. wat's the use?? like yest n today.. just a few word wif eva and yen min.. they understand me.. they know wat i am thinking n they actually care for me eventhough they are so far from me.. n i really miss them.. i really wish they were here wif me.. why am i becoming like this?? izzit true that they older we become, the less happiness we'll hav.. once alvin say that i would b very easy to b predict.. whenever i am sad, happy o wat eva i am feeling i would show it in my appearance.. now i am starting to think... wat is something bad?? izzit i should b more protective n hide myself??.. babe.. i am losing now.. dunno where is my 'kao an'.. =(..

sometime sorry just doesn mean everything.. just stop giving me stupid excuses n b true to urself.. just tell me wat u wanna say n just spill out everything that u wanna say.. just dun make it a big turning n end up the hope that i am having toward u just burst like that.. then wat am i actually to u?? nothing?? i just hate hearing sorrie.. deep down in ur heart u know i would forgive no matter wat.. so just stop saying those ridiculus sorrie n hurt my feeling will ya?? b frank to me.. wat u want.. n wat u dun wan.. dun leave me hanging.. wif no support.. =( i hate this guessing game n it's been rather suffocating for me.. i need air.. it's not easy for me to calm myself down n stop thinking 'bukan'bukan'.. stop stop torturing me.. if i dun love u.. i won hang on till today.. that's just so not me.. tear seem to stop coming out from my eye.. i seem to couldn cry because of u dy.. although my heart actually bleeding...