time that i wish i am not alone

All this while i am fine of being on my own. Probably living through the life with myself and only myself and mayb my family and friends. But they aren going to be beside me forever. Of course i choose to be alone does not mean that everyone else should do the same thing. But this is what human being are. When you are living your life happily, you tend to think, i am ok to be alone. There is nothing i could not face. Nothing that i cannot handle. But when something happen to you, to your family or to your friend, moment where you think you can live alone.. just disappear..
Of course. At this point of time, i wish i can call XXXXX. I wont say that i am still in-love with you. But somehow, for a period of time, he has been the person i once rely on. And because he know how much my grandma actually meant for me. Everytime when i look at the phone, when i am in dilemma and didn know who to call, his name pop-up.. But that doesn solve anything. Who to blame? I am the one that letting him go. Regretting just doesn seem to help. I know what i am talking about. I know what i mean. I am just.. bwing ridiculous i know..
I am just sorta.. dont wanna be alone right now??