It's anniversary for both of us..

Today is my birthday and yes i should be really happy. But somehow today remind me of my grandma. I guess this will be going on forever. Today is the day my grandma admitted to the hospital last year. Just when i wanted to enjoy myself today, i picture my grandma suffering on her bed. Was picturing myself having my colleagues singing birthday song for me and i am cutting cake but reality is my grandma is in the hospital and being rescue by the doctor. As a grandchild, i didn even know something happen to her until my cousin texted me. I still thought he wanted to wish me happy birthday. But instead, he asked if grandma is admitted to the hospital and i called home and mum says she is in the hospital but not sure what happen. At that time, i did not have an idea that she will have stroke. Still remember i drive home thinking that she will be fine until i step into her ward. That is when i know she will never be the same. It is almost like i lost my grandma that night. That day, on my birthday (T.T)
Time really flies. It was like yesterday incident as everything is still so clearly in my mind. When writing, i am picturing her on the bed. Last year's today change most of my family members. And it changes me. I used to really like birthday celebration. I am those that will get sad when people tend to forget my birthday and when no one ask me out for celebration. But this year punya me, didn really arrange for any celebration or probably most of my friend forgot that it is my birthday today that they coorperate and did not ask me out for celebration as the celebration somehow telling me that i celebrate the day i lost my grandma as well.
I am fine. Just emo for awhile. Someone out there will be able to cheer me up, I wish.. I miss u grandma. i miss having u beside my bed and i miss talking to u. The only reason i wanted to have a boyfriend and get married right now is definitely because of u. I want you to see that i will be fine and i will have someone to take care of me that you dun have to worry about me. I really do..

me and grandma after the stroke